My daughter is officially a young adult and currently taking on the world at the University of Kansas. It’s amazing (and a little surreal) to watch her navigate this exciting new chapter—learning, growing, and figuring things out on her own. But like so many young adults, she still leans on my husband and me for guidance and support, but legally, she’s now an adult—which changes a lot when it comes to things like healthcare decisions.
We were a little late getting to it, but recently we took an important step and set up a Medical Power of Attorney (MPOA) for her. It’s something I hadn’t really thought much about until recently, but I’m so glad we took the time to have the conversation and get it done.
For those unfamiliar, a Medical Power of Attorney is a legal document that allows your child to appoint someone—often a parent or another trusted adult—to make medical decisions on their behalf if they’re ever in a situation where they can’t speak for themselves. Once our kids turn 18, we, as parents, no longer automatically have the right to access their medical information or make decisions for them—even in an emergency. Thanks to HIPAA and other privacy laws, we need their legal permission to help.
Let’s face it: college life is full of new adventures, and while most of them are fun, the reality is that accidents and medical emergencies can happen. Whether it’s a car accident, a sudden illness, or a mental health crisis, not having an MPOA in place can leave parents feeling powerless at a time when they just want to be there for their child. Some of the challenges we could face without an MPOA include:
- Limited access to medical information: Doctors may not be able to speak with us without her written consent.
- No legal right to make decisions: Even in an emergency, we couldn’t step in to make choices on her behalf without this document.
- Possible court involvement: In a worst-case scenario, we’d have to go through the legal system to get guardianship—an overwhelming process during an already stressful time.
So, what can you do? Here are a few steps we took that I recommend:
- Talk with your child: Sit down and have an honest, respectful conversation about their wishes if something were to happen. It may feel awkward, but it’s an important talk.
- Get the documents in order: Every state is a little different, so make sure the forms are appropriate for where your child lives (or goes to school). We’re not lawyers, but we have resources and referrals we’re happy to share if you’re not sure where to start.
- Sign and notarize: Once the paperwork is ready, make sure it’s signed, witnessed, and notarized if required.
- Share the information: Keep the original in a safe place, and provide copies to healthcare providers, and anyone else who might need it.
I hope I never have to use the Medical Power of Attorney, but I’m grateful it’s in place just in case. It gives me a little peace of mind. Heading off to college is a major transition for young adults—but it’s a big adjustment for the moms left at home, too.